I’m in my final year of highschool, I’ve fucked up everything, I barely have four credits, and it’s all my fault, laziness, excuses, didn’t go. I don’t have motivation to do anything anymore, to be honest. I don’t have empathy, or sympathy at all, mostly apathetic, and the only thing keeping me going is a feel of a thrill, and unfortunately most things aren’t giving me a thrill anymore. I think I’m going to either kill myself, or become a criminal, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for about two years now, and I’m honestly ready to do something, I need to steel myself and get the courage to go through either one of those options. If I kill myself, I wonder what it’s like being dead, is there an afterlife?. My friend agrees with me, we might become criminals together if I decide not to take my life, and hey, at least I’ll be able to be an edgelord or something when I’m a criminal, I don’t want to be some small time crook, I want to be something big, someone well known, feared, notorious. It’s pretty edgy, but hey, anything that can get me a thrill, anything to get my mind off of these constant thoughts.

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