i wish i could sell myself to the highest bidder and let someone else take complete control of my life, im tired of being self aware and knowing all the reasons for why i ended up messed up. i want to stop thinking about myself. living for my own sake is too hard. living because someone orders me to, because someone has a use for me whether its s** or advice or companionship or just the novelty of owning me, that would be so much easier. the only problem is that the kind of person who would want to own someone is the kind who would be even more messed up than i am.