well… i’ve never been in love, like EVER, not even once. Never been told that i’m pretty by a boy. I have a strong personality and quite a caracter. I tend not to show how i desperatly want to be loved and desired, but deep inside I do. I don’t feel that i’m the normal type of girl, i don’t wear make up, I’m not really into skirts (although I do wear skirts and dresses). I’m fat, I always wear my natural hair. I know I am different, I love it, and I dream of the day when I find a guy who loves it too.

Now that i’m 30 years old, I start to lose hope in finding a significant other. Lately, i started to have this huge crush on a friend, a woman, who is also my boss, my friend, my godmother, my advisor and a lot more. She’s happily married, has three wonderful kids. I have strong feelings for her but nothing s***** or physical. I know i’m not gay, well I believe so. It scares me when I think about the strong feelings I have for her. I don’t want to take any foolish actions or bad decisions. I can’t, by any means, lose her. I don’t want her to be disappointed in me. I feel that all of this can be fixed as soon as I frind true love. I’m really exhausted and can’t find a way out from all of this.