i want to go on the road of recovery

i want that one woman to hurt as much as i did when she sees me

i am going 2 weeks now in rehab .. trying to quit 10 years of MDMA,cocaine,lsd,ectasy and 5 years of heroin use

im 35 years old and my life is ruined

no job, living with my dad who gives me all his money and i feel terrible about it

i hate it

sometimes i think of killing myself but idk i still can fight

its been a week im drug free. i feel way better but i still have urges

my wife left me ofc bcs of heroin

I HATE HEROIN it ruined my life