I feel like i ruined my boyfriend’s life.. We have been together for almost 2 years now. We had our ups and downs but we still chose to be together for it feels right. But I can’t help but feel like I ruined his future. We met when we were sixteen. I’m a month older than him. We were school mates in college and I was crazy about him. Eventually I made the first move and we became together shortly after that. We were happy and everyone wanted us to be together and we fell in love so deep. As the months pass by, he kept telling me he’s falling in love with me more and more each day and I felt the same. At one point i believe we were both obsessed with each other. We went through so many challenges. Once, a teacher wanted to kick us out with a story he made up. But we stayed strong together and the evidence and our innocence was proven. The teacher had to move out of the school after that. There was also a time when my mother and I couldn’t get along with each other until everything just blew up and I moved out of the house. I decided to stay in a motel but when his grandmother knew about it, she told me to stay with them instead. My boyfriend was asleep that time. His grandmother was the one who saw all the messages. I thankfully agreed, and I stayed there for almost half a year before going back to my house. During my stay there, we slept in his old room, a room he hasn’t used for years. He always cheered me up. We decorated the whole room with lights and everything we can find. I also had some money and we’d spend time out of the house and have fun together and sometimes, with his friends. We’d have coffee and cigarrettes when the dark came and we’d be on our robes and talk about each other and everything else in the sweet silence of the night. He’d pull me close so we could dance under the rain, he’d make me laugh when I get mad, we’d make love every night. We had our own world and we loved every moment of it. Now we’re almost 2 years. We had our mistakes and we learned to forgive. Everything is so different now. During the past months, we both stopped going to college, we skipped classes and dated instead, until it came to the point that we were living off on our daily allowance for our parents thought we went to school everyday.. He’s a smart guy, and we did so many things together in school and made the teachers proud with our work. But I guess we were so obsessed with each other so we had the guts to ruin our lives.. But I can’t help but feel like I’m the one who ruined his future and it pains me so deep that I just wanna cry thinking about it. By now he could have graduated, he could be studying culinary which has always been his goal, he could be earning by now, he could be happy and feel productive instead of feeling down about himself all the time because he felt so behind but he loves me so maybe he’s fine about it but im not! He could be living his dream by now if we hadn’t been together. He could be the man he wants to see in the mirror. But I came and we became obsessed with each other and I ruined his life! And I hate myself for it! I wanna tell him everything i feel but im sure he already knows! I’m sure he has regrets!!! And I really hate myself for loving him… For allowing this to happen to the one I love who has loved me no less these past years.. And I can’t forgive myself for it.