I confessed a few weeks back about having p******** with a guy, even though we both have significant others. A couple weeks after that I met up with him, public place it was a gathering of our friends, and I ended up sucking his d*** in the stairwell. He kissed better than anyone i’ve ever kissed. He kissed me and my entire mind went blank. It was amazing, I felt like we made out for hours. The way he touched me I’ve never felt such sparks go through my body. His hands were very unskilled, I had to tell him where the c*** was, but his mouth was amazing. He knew how just to kiss me just to make me feel like I was c****** from that. He whipped out his d*** and I was so overcome with lust I couldn’t help. He came all over my face and it was amazing. We didn’t have enough time to have s**, although at that point I would of.
Me and my boyfriend have been having problems, and every time we have a argument I end up going back to the guy I cheated on with my boyfriend. He’s stupid, but we’ve been friends for 2 years. He doesn’t make me feel special, loved, or anything my boyfriend has made me feel in the past. But he’s made me happier beyond belief. We talk for hours, just about our friends, about movies, about our futures, about life. He comes to advice because he’s in love with someone else besides his girlfriend, and it isn’t me. I’ve never felt jealous before, but I can’t help feel jealous over this girl. He’s claimed he loves his girlfriend, but he’s obviously smitten with this other chick. So he goes to me for advice. And while I feel happy he trusts me enough to take my advice, I wish it was me.
I shouldn’t feel this way, I love my boyfriend. But i’ve been having stronger and stronger feelings towards this f*** boy. I just want to hold him, I wanna snuggle and watch movies. I don’t know if I want him to be my boyfriend, but i’m afraid it’s going to turn into that. I’m gonna want him all to myself. He’s not perfect by any means, he hates parts of me and criticizes me all the time. He’s rude, and tries to make me jealous (it works) he plays games with my heart. He asks me what our kids would look like and how what I would wear on our wedding day. It gets a rise out of me because I hate kids, and marriage scares me. But He knows me too well to know what would happen.
I feel bad for my boyfriend, he loves me. He loves me more than anyone has ever loved me. He was going to propose to me, but I told him marriage scares me. He loves me, and i’ve been so s*****. I have feelings for someone else who lives 3 hours away.
I masturbated last night, and all I could do was think about the other guy’s kisses. I moaned his name so loud it was concerning. I even said ‘I love you (Name)” I dont know if I love him. But g******* it I just want him to love me. I want him to realize i’m good for him, and that it wouldn’t end in marriage and kids but I want him to hold me and stare in my eyes and kiss me so hard I see sparks again.