Let me start off with this: I’m lusting over a disney actor. I saw him perform in a certain performance and he was VERY flirty with the ladies and I was included. I kinda got stuck on him. He now kinda knows I like him, a couple people have told him. He flirts with me on stage and is very nice to me offstage. Now I KNOW he is married for a fact, but I still kinda lust after him and there is NOOOOO way I would ever have a chance with him. He’s like almost twice my age and hot as ALL hell. I’m not that pretty and kinda shy. I’m a 26 year old virgin (and not because of religious choices) I act all wild with friends but with guys I like I go all childish and blush. It’s because he treats me special. It’s why I fantasize about it. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel special. I’ve never had a guy make me feel special.
I want a guy who will make me feel like that certain actor I lust after makes me feel, but all the time. I have friends who say “oh you’ll find someone” or “It’s more fun being single” but I’m lonely and it hurts. I feel so emo saying it, but I really am so lonely. I have tons of friends but romantically I’m so god damned lonely it hurts. I’m just waiting for a guy to see how hurt I am inside and treat me special.
Meanwhile fantasies are the only thing I have..about a man I can never have. I don’t know what to do anymore.