I’m useless. Unwanted. Weird. Ugly. Fat.
I’m so upset right now that I can’t even cry. I just… Sit here. I listen to music and just stare into space. I want to cry and get it all out but i can’t. I’ve been going out partying a lot just to forget. I’ve been starving myself and might eat once a day… If that… I walk around late at night hoping someone kidnaps me and…. I don’t deserve to live a good life… I don’t deserve to live. If everyone in the world could be happy only if that met that one person in this world would have to take all the pain, I’d volunteer to be that person. Everyone else deserves to be smiling and happy all the time. It’s only right. They deserve it all. I don’t deserve even an ounce of kindness. I’m afraid of it. I’m scared to death of being happy. I’d rather stay in my comfort zone… But if i don’t deserve anything, wouldn’t that leave me with nothing….. I’m okay with just dying of a horrible sickness. I’m okay with dying of a broken heart… I’m okay with it all. Someone please help me, though i don’t deserve it. I’m suffering… I’ll be forgotten right after my death. People will forgot that i was too….. Just a human.