Alrighty, so to start off I am kinda bad at writing things so forgive my s***** grammar etc. Also I see all of these confessions about there mothers and I feel like most are fake but I assure you this is real. Now that all of that is out of the way, I am currently 18 and my mom is 50. My mom has been very close to me and always gave me more than enough affection throughout my life and this may be the reason I feel the way I do. I can’t really pinpoint the time it really started but I think it had to do more with seeing a women naked/them seeing me naked rather than it being my mom and that turning me on. Every night my mom would give me a kiss on my head goodnight and all that, but I would start pulling her in for another kiss on the lips which she was fine with. That was the beginning. I would start to randomly go up to her or lay down on the couch next to her and give her a kiss on the lips which she seemed happy to receive and didn’t mind at all. It started to elavate were I would start to lick my lips or try kiss her with a open mouth and press my tongue against her cheek. After doing this for awhile I wanted to do more, so when my parents were gone to the movies or out to dinner I would get naked and go into their closet and look through my moms p**** drawer. I looked through for something a little bit hotter than granny p****** and found in the bad all scrunched up a n*** colored thong. For me this was a huge turn on since I didn’t think my mom wore thongs and I took it and rubbed my balls on it and jerked off while smelling it then using it to j*******. I also decided to take her toothbrush and rub my d*** and balls on it and also rub it on my a******. This was good for a while until I think she noticed that her thing was moved because I couldn’t find it anymore, and if I recall correctly she mentioned something about her underwear or if I had been in there because something was moved. I for a while didn’t go In there and do any of that but I would continue to j******* thing about her. I also started to have s***** dreams in which I licked her p**** or was naked in front of her. Continuing on, she began to pat my a** or grab it when we hugged which sounds like I am lying but I swear to god she actually did. I kinda took it in a s***** way but she obviously didn’t mean it in that way. When she started to do this I became insanely h****. She would take naps all the time and would ask if I wanted to take a nap with her (meaning on the other couch) because I would complain that I was tired and I would always so no (mainly because I just wanted to play video games) but I started to lay down next to her on the couch and kiss her lips and tell her that I loved her and I would press my d*** against her a**. she was ok with the kissing and the laying down with her mainly because I think she just wanted to spend more time with me, since I didn’t really interact with her much. This whole thing was definitely making me more attracted to my mom but the one thing that definitely made me think about her In a s***** way was when I layed down on her bed one day. So, I layed down on my stomach on her bed and she was laying there trying to take a nap or read a book and she sat up and started to rub my back. We were talking about what ever and all the suddenly she started to go under my shirt and rub my shoulder and back and along my waist line. It felt good and I was getting slightly aroused. She began to get lower and lower and all of the sudden she rubbed the upper part of my a** which made me get this weird feeling in my stomach and made me squirm a little. Then she continued to rub my a** while I layer there and I swear that she went as far down my a** as to feel the pubic hair on my taint/lower a** area (don’t really know how to explain it) and my whole body jerked and she took her hand back most likely because she saw me squirm. This was what made me start doing the same to her. Every time she would hug me I would let my hand go down to her and and she didn’t mind it at all, she would do the same to mine and all of that. I later began to grab it a little and she didn’t care about that either. This got me off for a little bit but I clearly wanted to go further and when I started to lay down with her I would rub her back under her shirt but I never had the balls to go lower than her waistband. One day she was laying on her bed on her stomach with me talking about my brother and I started to rub her back and slowly worked my hand down lower and lower until my fingertips passed under her p****** and I was touching her bare a**. I barely went that far and I would pull back because I was scared of her getting angry or pulling away. I slowly went further and further until one day after school I remember well that she was wearing this black and greenish/turquoise dress and she came into my room and payed down on my bed face down and was talking to me about the school day (she is a substitute at my school) I was running her back and moved down to her lower back and finally to her waist line. This was the time that I decided to go down even lower and I straight up started rubbing her a** with my hand. She didn’t even flinch at all and continued to keep talking about the school day. I continued to rub her a** for about 10 seconds then I wanted to see if I could go farther/towards her p**** but I felt her clench her a** when I started to get deeper between her cheeks. Immediately after this she said that she needed to go change out of her school cloths and left. I assume she felt uncomfortable or figured out what I was trying to do. Another incident that happened was when I was laying on the couch and she was siting one side of the couch with my head on her thigh. I was h**** and so I wanted to do something. I brought my hand up to my nose to act like there was something at the edge of my nose and I picked it off. Once my hand was there I let it fall into her lap a bit more. This might sound unreal but I promise it happened. I took one of my fingers and started to rub the seam of her shorts that she had on. She acted like she didn’t even feel it maybe because she actually didn’t or assumed that I would stop if she didn’t react. I continued to do this for like 10 seconds and decided that I would push a little harder which I kinda felt the feeling of pubic hair almost under her shorts and I started to move my fingers in small circles where I thought the top of her p**** was and she continued to not act like she felt anything so I decided to try and inch my finger down the front of her shorts to try and feel her pubic hair. Which reminds me of why I became obsessed with my mom. As a younger kid maybe 10 I went to go tell my mom was awake and walked over to her bedroom and noticed that she wasn’t in bed, so I looked through the arc way into the bathroom to see if she was brushing her teeth or whatever and as I looked into the bathroom I saw my mom bare naked walk across the bathroom towards the walk in closet. The first thing I noticed was her huge dark bush and her n******. For a long time that image was in my head and definitely helped me get off. Anyways back to the me trying to feel my moms p****. I tried and slip my finger down but she noticed and grabbed my hand and pulled it away. At this point I was thinking ” oh s*** she just caught me trying to feel her p****” and I tried to cover it up by getting on my knees on the couch and hugging her and telling her that I love her. She said she loved me too and I started to kiss her forehead then her nose then her chin and then her lips and she enjoyed this. I then hugged her again but this time I put her earlobe in my mouth and started licking it and this is what made her uncomfort able because she immediately got up and and told me she needed to start dinner. After that I every once in a while would grab her a** or kiss her on the lips, until one day I decided to rub her a** again and after 2 seconds of touching her a** she grabbed my wrist and pulled my arm out of her p****** and so stupidly I decided to try again and this time she grabbed my wrist and said “stop” which utterly scared me because she never before responded to me grabbing her a** or rubbing it or anything like that. Ever since then I stopped doing anything like that because of that moment. Although I have done some stuff recently, for example we drove to Oklahoma to visit my grandparents to and we drove from Arizona a to there and I was sitting behind the driver seat in the back watching a movie and decided to get a little crazy by pulling down my shorts and started m*********** right behind my mom. I think the thing that got me really going was the risk of her turning around and catching me with my d*** out. I also started to recently sleep in my underwear instead of pajama bottoms and I have just started to pull the sheets up to just under my a** and pull my underwear have way down my a** just to let her see it. I haven’t had the balls to straight up sleep naked and let it all hang out yet. I was hoping that if I did do this I would wake up early enough to set up a camera before she comes in to Check on me so I could capture her reaction. The most recent thing I have done is while we stayed in a hotel. The hotel had a bathroom that was in the same room as the beds and as most people know you can hear what is going on in the bathroom pretty clearly in most hotels. Well, my mom was sitting on her bed and I went into the bathroom and turned on and the shower and got naked and hopped in. I started to j******* because I was h**** and had the idea of letting my mom know just for me to get off. So I began to jerk harder and made sure that the water was hitting my d*** area and I started to try and make loud smacking noises and I started to go faster and faster while trying to make it very loud and when I came I grunted a little just so she would hear me. And that concludes what I have done recently. And again I want to let you know that everything that I have written down here actually happened and is not b******* like half the other things on here. If anyone has any ideas on what I can do next to f*** with my mom and anything like I wrote above let me know. One final thing, I didn’t bother to go back and read through the whole thing to fix mistakes since I and writing this on my phone and it could have auto corrected, so hopefully you can still make out what I was trying to say. If you have made it this far I guess I should thank you for reading what I wrote. Thanks.