I’m happy, really I am. I have a wonderful family, a lot of good friends, a stable life and a good head on my shoulders. I’m putting myself through college, work full-time, and I have a decent social life. Most of the time I’m relaxed, calm, but then some days anxiety just hits me way too hard. I feel unnecessary, and like people will always prefer someone else over me. I am not number one in anyone’s eyes. I struggle to be a good friend, to keep the peace and not nag at anyone, and yet I don’t feel as if anyone reciprocates this… I truly feel worthless. The world will keep going even if I’m not here. I would never take my own life, though, because I am NOT a coward. I won’t take the easy way out, and never have. But even for those of us who are seen as ‘strong’ or ‘dependable’, the ones who are considered popular, the ones people turn to to talk about their problems.. Even WE have times when life seems dismal. No one is perfect, that much is true, but when people seem to expect you to be flawless, that’s when real loneliness sets in. Because you have been set apart from your friends and family, even if that was not their intention. And no one thinks to ask if you’re okay, because they simply assume you are. We all hurt sometimes, some more than others, but we all do regardless. This is my time to hurt, and I hate it. I hate it like everyone else does. But I won’t whine, I won’t start drama over it. Because I’m expected to be strong, and so I will be.