I’m a horrible person. I hate myself and I can’t seem to take any criticism without falling into this self deprecating thought cycle. I’ll always be a disappointment to my mom and my dad will always be a disappointment to me. He said that my mother’s constant criticism drove him to do heroine- I didn’t believe it for a second. But now I think I’m having second thoughts and I feel horrible for believing him and beginning to hate my mom. I’m a horrible daughter. I don’t like eaither of my parents- I must be the scum of the earth. I miss being a kid and not having any exceptions to fill and the bliss of not knowing about my father’s addiction. I miss being shielded from the fighting and hate. I don’t disserve that life anymore. I hate myself.