CAN I PLEASE KILL MYSELF?

No one’s gonna read this but eh, i’ll just leave it here,,

It’s been 2 years since my grandfather passed away. After his death, i always used to stay gloomy. Every little thing used to bug me. Everything in the world made me sad. My grandfather’s death was the first death i had encountered. I lost faith in god after he died. I’m an atheist now. Once, my mom had scolded me for the dumbest reasons and that made me so sad that i locked myself i the washroom and tried to cut myself. however, I failed to do so. Today morning,after so many years, yet again i felt miserable because my mom scolded me for a dumb reason. I cried. Alot. in the afternoon, I told her about the time I tried killing myself. All she said was- well, everyone was extremely sad at that time.
She didn’t even f****** try to confront me. SHE DIDNT CARE ABOUT THE FACT THAT HER MOTHERFUCKING DAUGHTER TRIED TO KILL HERSELF. SMH.
Just a few days, i started dating. he is my first boyfriend ever. i haven’t dated anyone before him. he’s such a sweetheart. i want to be with him forever but ,,,,,
im done with life. i just want it all to stop. im ready to embrace death.