well, here's the thing i've been thinking about my health lately and idk how i feel. i have an addiction or habit that i've been doing since preschool.

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well, here’s the thing i’ve been thinking about my health lately and idk how i feel. i have an addiction or habit that i’ve been doing since preschool. I’m 15 now but nothing has happened yet. i eat a lot of tissue, cardboard, paper, newspaper, puzzle pieces and idek why. it’s crazy addictive and only a few people know. my family thinks i stopped that’s because when they walk into the room i throw it out asap or i just hide it. i don’t wanna go see a therapist because i can’t prioritize my time wisely. this may seem silly but this is my confession and that’s why i found this website to confess.

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i want to end myself and i have suicidal thoughts thinking how should i die (i often think about hanging) and i imagine myself when i am doing the deed. i have fallen quite low and it is hard to stand up again. i have been having family issues (mainly with my dad) aside from my own personal problems. even if i vent this to someone, i know that their words are not enough. it is unfortunate for me that i got the miserable version of life haha… maybe if i was more pleasant, people would’ve treated me differently and my father wouldn’t even verbally abuse me. i have been like this for months now. some days i feel better but once triggered, everything comes back and i am miserable again. i really don’t want this life and the urge to end it is very strong. i have fallen out of my faith in God so to end this all, i think i should end the root of everything which is me because i realized that i might be the problem. that is all.