17 years
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*muttering of some choice words* nowadays you can’t even get some personal space or alone time without people thinking that you are lazy, your up to no good, you going into a depression or that you just don’t do anything… I’ve been in a bad mood for a few days and people are giving me s*** for it, I mean damn I can’t be happy all the time. That’s just not normal…. I’m know I am a bad friend cuz I didn’t answer multiple phone calls from one of my best friend’s when she asked me if I was alive or dead. I feel the tremendous weight of ignoring her, I know that it could tear our friendship apart. I know I have issues and I know I like to keep things in and am unwilling to share my problems with other people. But damn I am working on it, and I got a few good people who listen. I just need my personal space, to give myself some time to breathe. To let myself mull over what has happened and what is going to happen. I hate making apologies and admitting that I am wrong. But I am going to do that, hopefully that will be enough and we can discuss why I left in the future. What to say?

New Confession

So, one time I told my mom that I wanna buy a lollipop, I was 17 that time. My step brother then asked if he could come my mom and I agreed. Me and my step brother let’s just call him Daniel. Daniel the both of went out to buy. We bought a few things lollies and he said he wanted a beer, so I bought one for him. But on the way home walking he asked saying “I have a lollipop why would you buy one?” I looked confused. But I just said I like the strawberry flavored more. he then asked if we could go somewhere for awhile, I agreed cuz’ why not, The house is boring anyway. We went to this secluded area it’s dim but not to dark. No person is walking at that time because it’s night a bit late. We sat down on the bench right beside each other. around probably 5 minutes passed, he took my hand and hovered at top of his “DIH’ it was hard, very hard. my hand is not inside yet. He spoke “you make me this hard everyday.” mind you he was 22 at that time. I sat down still, I didn’t move one bit and just let him do what he wants to. then, he puts my hand inside and helped me stroke his “Dih” I stroked it, he started moaning softly minutes passed like that, he spoke after “Can you s*** for me?” I nodded, because what can I do? I sucked his dih and he exploded on my mouth. I thought it was done and he told me to swallow so I did. after that we didn’t tell mom nor dad it’s our little secret. that was 6 months ago, and now we both sometimes do it when we are alone.

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