I’m lonely yet I have friends. It’s a crazy feeling and I need to be alone, I never understood how people could spend hours and hours together I used to want to and need to love now I’m scared to even meet new people. I wonder maybe I am actually gay, or is it a faze I hope it’s a faze all because I’m scared of what will happen, your normal I tell myself knowing this is far far from the truth. I’m different I know that in special not only in my talent for business that allowed me to leave the hell of school at 16 but in my need to be alone people don’t understand that sometimes being alone brings you closer to the people you so desperately just can’t be asked to see. It’s the constant mocking ever since I was 5 that has scared me, everyday they’d call me gay they’d call me names and I fort back in anger and to my dismay I’d be the one in trouble adding fuel to the already large fire, I feel trapped lost and just wrong I’m not gay I’m not straight maybe I’m just well me. But why can’t I accept myself for being me I’m happy. Or so I tell myself, even to this day I’m mocked by my so called friends I can only assume they don’t know that every word they use to mock me is never forgotten and instead will add to my pain my suffering and my confusion on what my life is all about. S******** is the worst part of my life one I never see myself accepting because to me coming out, weather I am bi or gay I’m not sure but coming out is admitting defeat and letting everyone who has mocked me know they’ve won. Please reply saying what I don’t know but just that you’ve read it I guess. I know it doesn’t read well or make sense but hey welcome to my head!