I honestly think I'm better off alone, because I'm either emotionally stunted and relentlessly logical or everyone I've ever dated has been completely

14 years

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I honestly think I’m better off alone, because I’m either emotionally stunted and relentlessly logical or everyone I’ve ever dated has been completely insane. I thought this relationship was going to work, but it’s now obvious to me that it’s just another in a long line of disappointments. What really bothers me is knowing that I’ll be pulverizing the heart of another completely innocent long-term relationship partner simply because our personalities aren’t quite compatible enough for my liking. She has no idea it’s coming, either. F*** it. I’m joining a monastery.

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A but t load of buddy juice clears my mimd. Cor v

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i want to end myself and i have suicidal thoughts thinking how should i die (i often think about hanging) and i imagine myself when i am doing the deed. i have fallen quite low and it is hard to stand up again. i have been having family issues (mainly with my dad) aside from my own personal problems. even if i vent this to someone, i know that their words are not enough. it is unfortunate for me that i got the miserable version of life haha… maybe if i was more pleasant, people would’ve treated me differently and my father wouldn’t even verbally abuse me. i have been like this for months now. some days i feel better but once triggered, everything comes back and i am miserable again. i really don’t want this life and the urge to end it is very strong. i have fallen out of my faith in God so to end this all, i think i should end the root of everything which is me because i realized that i might be the problem. that is all.