im wearing your shirt and desperatley breathing in the musty scent that comes from you that i f****** love so much. im so scared for the day its going to stop smelling like you and that its going to fade. its been less than 24 hours and i miss you so f****** much. i f****** miss you. i didnt know it was possible to feel physical pain out of emotional distress until now. i didnt know that i could wake up and instantly start crying, when i remembered that me and you are over. i want you back so bad and im so so sorry i had to end it. i never got to say that i loved you but right now i really really do. i cant be enough for you and i cant provide the support you need. im not reliable and im scared about what you would do if i fucked up and hurt you. i know that im your trigger and that you think your crazy and to me thats the saddest f****** thing in the universe and im sorry ive got to eb so coml=plicated and cause those things and i f****** love you but i cant risk it i cant risk loosing you or you hurting yourself because of me. babe i care about you too much for me to be yours. it would be so so selfish and too much responsibility for me to handle. i reallly want to be able to handle this but i cant, i cant give you what you need. and you deserve what you need.
but that doesnt make it hurt any less
and i keep thinking about when you said you loved me and when you said that i wasnt willing to make the effort
and when you said that all you wanted was me, to be in my arms and hear my heart beat and my heart f****** broke i was lying there with a huge lump in my throat and the biggest pain right in my chest
and the thing is thats the only f****** thing i want too