14 years
x
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CAN ANYONE HELP PLZ!

I don’t understand anything anymore.
One day he’s amazing, the other he’s so difficult to live with.
I don’t know what to do anymore. He made me cry today. A lot. Big time.
We were suppose to go somewhere today (and i was so exited to see him) and I don’t know what happened, his mood changed, maybe of something I said I don’t know what, maybe not and he got really angry. Not the normal angry for this case of situation.
Suddenly, he didn’t stop telling me ” Forget about it”.
He said it sooo many times, it got me crazy. But I was still able to control myself, my words.
He said, it wasn’t my fault, and it has nothing to do with me.
I asked him if it’s family problem, or work problem, he says no. So I guess he’s the problem?
I kept telling him “plz let me call you”. He didn’t want to hear a word. He kept repeating “Forget about it” “Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it””Forget about it”
It drove me insane.
How can I forget about it, if he’s making a big deal out of it?
It’s killing me. I keep crying and crying, can’t seem to stop. I’m sad, really sad.
I told him that in 30 min I’ll be at his place. He said: don’t do that.
And oh yes he means it.
So I told him to talk to me when he’ll calm down.

The end.

New Confession

Many mornings i sit on my front porch with coffee and a cigarette as a relaxing way to watch the world wake up. This morning i was doing so with the residual taste of the male runner i orally please (usually weekly but sometimes more frequently) still clinging in my throat. An older couple was on ther morning walk today, i see them occasionally. She was the usual casual wave and good morning but he did not even glance my direction. She called him out on it and told him to at least say good morning, and they were on their way again. As they walked away he turned and looked back at me with an uncertain ezpression on hia face I hope she did not give him grief later, because i know why he was acting awkwardly. About six weeks ago he made his first visit to my back yard shed to take his own pleasure in my mouth. It was actually emotional for him because he had not gotten any relief in a very long time. I told him he was welcome any time. But like many older married men he was truly suffering the guilt and shame of taking his pleasure in a man’s mouth and for being unfaithful to his wife. But naturally after getting the incredible pleasure i gave him as i reverently worshipped his hard hungry male flesh…he told me during and after that he had no idea such pleasure existed…his guilt and remorse and shame got to him and after a couole of weeks i assumed he would never return. But sure enough, i eventually saw him on a morning solo walk and he came up to me unable to even speak or ask, and i simply had him follow me to my back yard shed and without speaking i gave him what he needed again. And of course afterwards despite his enjoyment in the moment, he was in tears again and said he could never do this again. But a week later, he was back for more. Then again a few days after that This is where we are at as i saw him on his walk with his wife this morning. I have sincere empathy for his inner crisis, and he kmows if he comes back for more he will get it time and again. I know it sounds arrogant but i know eventually he will come back again and again. Not because i am conceited but because i simply know men and the type of man that seeks what i give them on my knees. He will come back because they all do eventually this is simply how some men get what they need and i enjoy giving it to them for a host of reasons…..from the diary of a closet neighborhood cocksucker

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