I fucking hate my life,I consider blowing my head off every day,I bought the gun to do it several months ago.Happy people make me sick.Ive been dealing

12 years

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I f****** hate my life,I consider blowing my head off every day,I bought the gun to do it several months ago.Happy people make me sick.Ive been dealing with depression aince i was 16,its just gotten worse over the years,im 31 now.Ive never experienced true love and doubt that I ever will,apparently im not worthy of being loved,my own “family”doesn’t give a f*** about me.Ive been with several women(s**)but loved none of them.Every day the firt words out of my mouth are “damn,another day”Im always hoping that i will get lucky and die in my sleep,never happens.So…here’s to another f****** miserable day of my life about to start

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Startin skool taday. Wearin a fem lookin shirt, pink pantees. Wanna be seen in gym class

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There’s this one chick in my group of friends who everyone loves. They do her work, they pamper her, they hang out with her, and it pisses me off because I’m the only one who knows she SA’d one of her exes. She’s such a s***, dresses for attention and is overall a pick me. It pisses me off because these are the only friends I’ve managed to make because of my social anxiety and I don’t want to ruin anything and be lonely again. Im still lonely, I have a feeling deep down no one cares for who I am or my opinions.