My girlfriend and I have been together for over 5 years now. Living together for like 4 and some months. She used to go on my emails and iPod and ask my

12 years

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My girlfriend and I have been together for over 5 years now. Living together for like 4 and some months. She used to go on my emails and iPod and ask my friends if I’m cheating on her. When she got her first cell, I left it alone but when she asked me to get it for her I saw messages of her badmouthing me to her cousin. We talked and it was fine.

A couple years ago I went on her phone again and found messages between her and a chick friend. Bunch of “I love you”‘s and talk about leaving me for her, but not wanting to hurt me. I talked to her about it and she and the other chick ended up fighting and are no longer friends.

Flash up to recently, she’s since abandoned the old phone and got a new one despite having the means to pay for it. She’s been sketchy with it. She’s hanging out with a guy from work, I’ve told her not to have a guy friend over when I’m not home but he’s been here plenty and stayed all night the other night when I planned alone time.

I took her phone when I went to meet someone as I don’t have a cell, and a guy she said she blocked but couldn’t figure out how to block on this app of hers, was texting her with “baby” and stuff.

She’s threatened to leave over me wanting to see her phone. Am I wrong for wanting to see her phone after all this? I mean, I don’t even talk about my issues I have with her to anyone. As far as friends and family are concerned, she’s perfect and I want to marry her. I don’t like to villify her, hence the anonymous posting here. But she’s quick to talk to almost any of my friends about our problems and never really me. I feel hypocritical even posting this but it’s been 5 years. I need to hear something. Am I right? Am I wrong?

I’m not abusive in the least (unless you consider poking and tickling as abusive). I’ve never cheated. I don’t want to be controlling but I feel like my trust is lower and lower with every odd reaction or behaviour she exhibits.

I don’t know. Am I wrong for asking her on occasion to go through her phone? Is it wrong if I get a little scared when I see her delete something? Am I wrong for wanting to fight so hard to not risk losing her?

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There’s this one chick in my group of friends who everyone loves. They do her work, they pamper her, they hang out with her, and it pisses me off because I’m the only one who knows she SA’d one of her exes. She’s such a s***, dresses for attention and is overall a pick me. It pisses me off because these are the only friends I’ve managed to make because of my social anxiety and I don’t want to ruin anything and be lonely again. Im still lonely, I have a feeling deep down no one cares for who I am or my opinions.