My dad passed away right before I moved in to college. I miss him so much I feel like I am just going to explode from the pain. I have nightmares where I relive the month leading up to his death where I am able to save him. I try to remember him when he was healthy and everything was fine, but all I can see now is him gasping for air and shaking in his final moments in agony. I will never get over it. His last words to me about ten minutes before were “You’ve been saying it all along”. I always worried about him because he liked to drink wine every night and I told him he was destroying his liver. He died from stage IVpancreatic cancer which caused his liver to fail. I wish I could have gone with him. I love him so much all I ever asked God was to keep him healthy and alive. And then my worst fear came true. I love all of my family, and now I am terrified of losing anyone else. I wish I could exchange my life to give loved ones more.