I’m not okay. I need help. I’ve been triggered so badly tonight and I’m about to just slice every clean place on my legs. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I have hurt people without meaning to and made people I loved not want me anymore. It was a mistake. I didn’t mean it. I thought they knew that. I don’t want anyone to forgive me because I can’t even forgive myself. I don’t know why I’m writing this instead of just going ahead and hurting myself. I’m probably just going to do it anyway after this. Someone sees me for what I actually am, and that is a horrible p************. I’m not looking for attention I just need to get this out. I can’t cry, so it’s all just bottling up and I’m about to explode. I almost lack the ability to cry. I would text a friend and ask for help, but usually no one replies. I can’t do this. I can’t keep fighting it and acting like I’m not worthless.