I love you so much.

and I know it won’t sound as valid when I say it, because it’s in my nature. It’s hard to take me seriously with these types of topics, because you know about how I fall in love too fast, and how I date a lot of people.

But, I mean, it’s not like I ever dated those people for the Hell of it. I really did like them when we were in relationships. I knew it was going to end fast, but I wanted to live in the moment with them.
Each one of them is still in a bit of my mind.

So… I know. I know it’ll just… not sound credible when I tell you I love you, but I do. While the others are fond memories resting in my brain, you’re a sweet existence that occupies my heart.

You actually care about me.
You’ve stuck around when my other friends wouldn’t.
And even though you’re busier than I am and can’t talk sometimes – even when I need you – you still care.

And another thing I know is that you’ll never love me back. I’m young, I’m stupid, I move too quickly on some days and other days I just don’t get out of bed. I’m confused. I talk a lot. I embarrass myself in front of you all the time. Not to mention the fact that you’re three years older than I am – which, honestly, isn’t that much, but it can influence so much when you’re sixteen and I’m just an annoying thirteen year old with too much on their plate already.

I know you feel like you have a lot of imperfections-
but they aren’t imperfections to me. I love every single bit of you.

We’ve become really good friends in a short amount of time, but I know that’s all you’ll ever see me as. A friend. Especially because you aren’t even attracted to people of my gender.

It’s usually easy for me to come out and say that I want to date someone. I mean, hell, you’ve seen the people I was with. I’m an open person. Light-hearted. I was never worried about getting in and out of relationships because I knew that in the midst of it all, it’s really just experiences and stories to look back on and laugh. Like I said, fond memories.

But with you?… I’m a nervous wreck. I don’t want to screw up.