I punched the wall until when I punched it, it would send shock through my body and i’d have to stop. I bit my knuckles till they bled, and then some. Cried each night until I couldn’t even get my eyes to water. I honestly feel like cutting, nothing else is healing fast enough to do over the pain I dealt to them. I don’t want to say it but I think I’m addicted, I don’t even have a reason to hurt myself in any way anymore, I just crave the feeling of pain to remind me I’m alive. Kayla Trowbrige, I’m sorry, you’re the reason this started though, you wouldn’t open up to me so i worried about what you might be thinking instead of what you really were. I realize I DO deserve better because you asked for more than my very best and when I couldn’t give you more, you went to someone else to do what I couldn’t. F*** you. I love you. I can’t stay angry at you but for now don’t even look in my direction; even if I beg you too.