One of my best friends and this guy from the year above dated for 5 months. A month before they started seeing each other me and this guy were talking at a party and we hit it off pretty well. Ever since then I guess I have been attracted to him. He broke up with her due to multiple reasons including not ever meeting her family. It has been 3 and a half months since her broke up with her. She still has feelings for him and she empties out all her feelings on to me, so I know how much pain he has caused her. At a party two weeks ago (they would have been broken up for 3 months) we both were very drunk and we went and hung out for a good hour or two till the end of the night. We didn’t kiss or anything, but my friend was beside herself and I felt so guilty. Two weeks later, there was another party and me and this guy were both really drunk and we were flirting all night and then we went around the side where no one was and hooked up for like half an hour and then we went our separate ways now we are speaking and I am starting to like him again I don’t know what to do. No one knows besides my other 3 best friends and the guy…. I feel terrible and I really want to tell her but last time I thought I did hook up with him she got so angry!!! But this time I actually did and I don’t want to tell her because I know it will ruin our friendship and I am not ready for that. But if I didn’t tell her and she found out from someone else, she would never speak to me again!!! I feel so awful and guilty, but I still would hook up with him again?? Why am I such a dog