I wish you would put your writing out there just so someone other than me would tell you how horrible it is.

But I’m going to share my review here anonymously because if I told you, you would just get offended.

Your characters are trite and come off as annoying. They are every boring stereotype rolled into one. Their motivations make no sense. There is nothing in them the reader can identify with.

Your plot is ridiculous and has no sort of pacing whatsoever. It’s always the same story with a few tweaks here and there no matter what you write. There is no climax. The ending is as typical and lame as every episode of every 80s sitcom. The only thing missing is the credits playing over a freeze frame of your characters standing there smiling.

Your grammar is atrocious. You are in your 60s and you went to college with an English major. What is up with your insane punctuation and formatting? Dialogue is always formatted the same in any novel you read. The way you write it makes it impossible to tell who is talking. All piled into one paragraph. It drives me insane.

I hate your writing. I really do. Maybe it’s just because I really dislike you and that comes through. Nope. You’re just a horrible writer.