There was a huge meeting today with people in my field from all over the state. We were required to attend. I went, signed in, and then went back to my car and went home. I’ve done this dozens of times for these types of meetings, and no one has ever caught me. Which got me thinking about all of the other s*** I’ve gotten away with.
Here are some of the things I’ve done, off the top of my head:
– Smoked weed three times. I didn’t enjoy it.
– Hit two parked cars enough to do major damage.
– Pirated hundreds of songs and movies.
– Downloaded things that are illegal where I am from.
– Created dozens of fake online accounts for the sole purpose of catfishing women, including some who would be considered illegal in my country.
– Propositioned an underaged girl I knew in real life. I offered her and her boyfriend use of my apartment on prom night in exchange for pictures of her.
– Used keyloggers to hack into numerous email accounts.
– Stole merchandise from at least three previous employers.
– Lied on numerous forms for various jobs – both lies about myself or falsifying official company records. One job, which I had for about four years, I lied about my hours practically every week – getting other people to clock in and out for me.
– Intentionally short-changed customers when I was a cashier.
– Continuing to work despite my state certification being expired for more than one year.
The moral of the story: No one is watching. Or, at least, if you come across as a likable white guy like myself, people won’t check up on you.
I’ve really mellowed out in the last five years though. I’m trying to live a better life. Trying to be honest. I don’t do any of these things anymore.
Sometimes, I hear about people being busted for really stupid s***, and how it ruins their lives because they have a criminal record, and I just think of how lucky I am.