My Mom is a Borderline Narcissist who would slap me regularly, called me names like c***, s***, b****, greedy parasite, dumb cow, w****, to dumb to f*** etc, punished me randomly and unexpectedly when I was happy, manipulating me, played mindgames on me, commanded me to kneel and clean up the whole house on my knees. She wrote extensive lists of what chores I had to complete when I come home from school. She slept until 4 pm and would wake up then, being very moody. But she also kissed me and took n*** photos of me when I was a teenage girl. She forbade me to lock the door when I wanted to shower. When I wanted to wash my hair, she would control time and once dragged me out of the shower and took me to the corridor. I had to walk to my room and was not allowed to rinse out the shampoo from my hair. She would lock herself in the bathroom regularly and cut open her arms. She would then take pictures of her blood, her arms, and would play with her blood, letting it drip from her wounds and let it stream down the white surface of our bathtab and washbasin. Afterwards she would be very regretting and soft and apathetic. I felt guilty for feeling that she would only be gentle with me, when she has harmed herself, because I thought that would make me a bad person and a unthankful daughter. I always wanted to help her and make no mistakes and be very kind and generous and grateful. But I would always be the dumb, greedy daughter to her.

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