I think my ex boyfriend was abusive. Not physically, but emotionally. He was manipulative and awful, and it’s taken me months to get over it. I’m completely over him now, but looking back on it, I still remember the things he did and it makes me mad that I allowed him to treat me like that. He analyzed every single thing that I did and found new and creative ways to make me feel bad about them. I couldn’t even mention certain topics because I knew I would get ridiculed. Topics like: school, my friends, music, my ambitions, my future plans and hopes/dreams, my hobbies, etc. Not even my shoes were safe – he made fun of my shoes pretty much every day regardless of what pair I was wearing. He would literally target every single thing he could think of, and I remember at one point he even made fun of the specific way I moved when I was closing my locker. We ended up dating for six months because I didn’t put it together at the time that this was not how I deserved to be treated. He was my first boyfriend and I didn’t know better – he would balance out all his abuse with nicer gestures and they were just enough to trick me into thinking he cared about me. Later I found out that the only reason he dated me was that he wanted someone to have s** with him. Luckily I never gave in because I didn’t feel ready, and that’s something I’m very glad I held my ground on. He still hates me because I dumped him after finally having had enough, but my life is a million times better without him. It took me a while to realize that I’m actually not worthless, but I’m stronger now.
Sorry this was so long. I’ve never told anyone about just how terrible he was to me and I needed to get it out.
