I’m a quiet, somewhat socially awkward young woman,– and a virgin! — and I’ve had fantasies about f***** for years… I want to do softcore stuff, like handcuffs and ordering him to eat me out slowly, but I also want to beat a guy until he screams or peg him so hard and rough that he starts to cry. Also, impossible things, like have a man be completely at my mercy, my posession, that I could torture or kill but I don’t kill him because I CHOOSE not to. It’s about the s**, but it’s also not about that– whenever I’m upset, my natural response is to be angry, but then to lock myself in a room and quietly pace back and forth until the feeling goes away, just swallow the anger, and I always wish for someone who would look at me and kneel and say “I don’t know why you’re angry, but please, take it out on me.” I want someone sweet to come home to at the end of the day, someone who would kneel by my chair and let me run my fingers through his hair, someone that I could buy expensive gifts and watch him blush.
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That’s nothing to be ashamed of, if you want to talk more, email me at [email protected] .
That’s kinda fucked up. But I’m certainly not that far off the mark. I have a slight interiority complex. And I don’t want to be beaten, But more assured by someone who could beat me or kill me. This would give a feeling of appreciation, to have someone in a position of power to care means something. I feel as though you want to be something like this. However… More exteme in your own way. Try to find a more reserved partner, or friend. This might help. Find someone who relies on you. You may not be able to do such things. But it will surely help you. (Goes without saying, if said someone relies on you. Don’t leave them. That’s actually fucked up.)