It’s been over a year now since I blocked and ghosted you.
I looked back on some of our last conversations on Discord the other day.
Looking back on them now, I was so mentally unwell by the end of my time with you, I didn’t even recognize myself in some of those messages. I could see now that you were getting off in some way from my suffering.
You love-bombed me until you ‘won’ me. I only reciprocated what you gave me – wanting to show you the same love and affection you were giving me. Then you slowly started taking it all away. You kept going hot and cold, warm then distant. I was always doing mental gymnastics to justify your behaviour. I have a feeling you were cheating but kept me around for whatever you weren’t getting from other women.
You should have left me when you got bored or whatever it was you were feeling, instead I had to find the strenght myself to dump your a**. You left me needy, clingy, anxious and desperate. I’ve never been like that with a boyfriend before. I used to feel safe and secure in my relationships, independent and self-sufficient. But you and your s*****, manipulative and cowardly behaviour broke me. I almost did something terrible to myself over you and you don’t even know it.
I see you haven’t been online since November. I like to think that you peeked at my profile and saw I’d moved on and for a moment it crushed you, but I doubt it.
I just sincerely hope you never treat someone you *actually* love and care about like the way you treated me.
But on a more petty note, I hope you’re as miserable and lonely as you made me, if not worse. You earned it and you deserve it. You robbed me of a year of my life and you were never worth it.
