i need professional help but i will never tell anyone certain things about me that are the reason why i need that help. i’m not a good person, and i know deep down it wouldn’t be right for me to have children or to probably even get into a relationship because of the things that go on inside my head. i’m very suicidal and contemplate killing myself every day in various ways, like throwing myself in front of a train just before my work shift starts, or slitting my throat with the steak knife that’s in my hand as i wash the dishes.
