I often fantasize that my husband dies and I am free from my hellhole marriage at last. I don’t divorce him because I don’t want to be poor but I don’t love him. If he died, I’d get all the money not half. He is angry, negative, misogynistic and selfish. He thinks he’s so attractive but he’s bald and fat and diabetic. He thinks pepple like him but he’s a real blowhard. He thinks he’s intelligent but he’s a dim bulb who forgets everything and loses things all the time. I don’t enjoy s** with him but I’m not the type that cheats so I’m sexless. I have as little to do with him as possible which isn’t hard because all he does is watch old s*** westerns on t.v and stuff his face. I’m nice enough, I keep the peace, I make the dinner, clean and do laundry. All looks well on the outside but if he died tomorrow part of me would be incredibly relieved. I’m pretty sure it’s a sin to feel such things but somehow I think God understands.
