Never look down in shame or sorrow….look up gorgeous. FYI: It is curiosity, not obsession. Honestly, I just wanted to make you feel welcome to our city, although you have probably visited our State 1000 times unknown to me but were never on my radar as an individual, just your talent. Seeing you glow in your element is amazing, you are a beautiful soul and your NYC style is so s*** and classy, which I adore about you. It has been a month since I met you, and what began as a lovely moment, a month later led to me burying a loved one so I am a little emotionally tired but unable to sleep. Amazing how life can go in extremes, from joy to pain and back again. Never ending cycle of life.
However, this short time apart from you, without communication was a challenge for me because it was a solid month of your voice and pieces of your music waking me from my dreams, haunting my subconsious mind. On top of riffs of Billy Joels song, “Tell Her” and a few other artists lately. I dont think I can tell you though because social media is not the place for i. So let me do it here: My million dollar question is why? We both meet a lot of people. Is it because I prayed for you and got struck like lightening with your musical vibe? Cause I am uncertain if the feeling is mutual, it could be all me.
My first fiance and I were best friends from age 10 until we started dating at 20, we got engaged at 26 and two days before Thanksgiving my fiance died. However, I was loved in such a way, with such a deep sense of love and safety it was a genuine gift. Even after I called off my second engagement in NYC because my partner also fell in love with someone else while cheating and felt they were polyamorous, wanted me to swing or bend my morals but it was not my lifestyle. They robbed me literally, so quiet naturally I cut them off, only for them to live out an unhappy life with a consistently cheating spouse which is not so glamourous once you have children. Karma, it can be a interesting thing.
Afterwards like you, I have dated a lot of people. Then I stopped dating and decided it was better to be single until I met someone on my level. However, my first fiance, I carry that love with me like a solar Tesla backback, in good or bad times, amazing people or crappy people, great or sucky dating experiences, the love carries me because I know it exists. The same way the love of your children has given you a long lasting hope. Luckily, I have not had to spend my life searching for the one, just mine was sent too Heaven early but I know what real love is in a deep eternal romantic sense.
You have probably had a lot of lovers, some amazing and painful experiences but no one sticks. Maybe you are subconsciously non commital?
