Democrats Propose Changes To Fix Flaw In Constitution That Allows Republicans To Be Elected.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A number of Democrats have proposed changes to the structure of government that they think would help “the people”, such as lowering the voting age to 12, abolishing the Electoral College, packing the Supreme Court, allowing two votes for each Black person, three votes for each illegal immigrant, having Antifa police the polling places and changing how Senate seats are allocated. Now, though, some of the Democratic presidential hopefuls are attacking the heart of the matter: what they call an “outdated Constitution” that sometimes “allows Republicans to be elected.”
“The election of Trump exposed a fundamental flaw in the Constitution,” Senator Elizabeth Warren said at a campaign rally. “Everyone said Hillary was supposed to win, but she didn’t. And we’re afraid that in the future, maybe Democrats won’t win again. We can’t allow that.”
Warren and numerous other Democrats have proposed an amendment to the Constitution that will state that only Democrats are allowed to win elections, a proposal they say will increase election “fairness.”
“When I think about someone other than a Democrat being elected,” said Senator Cory Booker, “it makes me so mad.” He then raised his fists and shook them, a gesture indicating he was mad. Candidate Beto O’Rourke also spoke out for the proposed amendment, though all he got out was, “It’s a great–” before skateboarding into a tree and quickly fleeing the scene of the incident.
None of the candidates have explained how they propose to get three-fourths of the states to agree with this amendment, though this has led them to point out another flaw with the Constitution: that it’s “way too hard to change it when you suddenly have a much better idea.”
Attorney General Merrick B. Garland supported the idea, saying that anyone who opposed it was a Domestic Terrorist. He added that anyone who failed to vote for Democrats should be imprisoned for life or executed. He said that in a Free Society we all must police each other.
(sarcasm)
