There’s something violent in me. Noone would ever think it, I’ve never been in a fight and never shown any violent actions. For years I’ve constantly fantasied about violence. Everytime I speak to someone I think about beating them or choking them. I’m taking every step possible to not lose control i.e. exercise, writing feelings etc.. it’s getting to the point where I just don’t care anymore.

I’m so worried that one day I’m going to lose control. I’m worried because I know it will feel amazing.