don’t know how I feel anymore. Its difficult to understand myself. I’m just sitting in this room and thinking. And I’m not sure what to do. It makes me just want to be sad. I wish i can cry. Because when you cry it feels good sometimes. But i can’t. And no matter were I am in this world, I will aways feel the same. And right now I really do think I’m a waste of space. A waste of time, a waste of energy, a waste of life, of waste of friend, a waste of family, a waste of a daughter… Just a big fat waste. I guess I can say of a piece shit really. Lol a waste of shit. Sigh… But I’m trying never to lose hope. Even though I dont feel good on the inside, and internally it seems like I’m just devolving. Internally I have no joy, I feel hopeless, and a bit lonely, worried, sometimes I feel mentally sick because of the feeling inside my head and mouth that makes me want to scream. The thoughts that run through my head, the voices. The past friendship failures, the EVERYTHING failures, the same mistakes over and over. But I know I have to keep going. It’s hard sometimes,but I think I need to encourage myself now and then. Sometimes I think life is what you make it. I want to push though and push past all these feelings, make it the best I can. Because it’s aways good to try to be positive. No matter what , I’m going to walk even if i cant run. And if i can’t walk I’ll crawl. That’s how I feel.
- 1 month ago
- 44 Views