I never liked or wanted either ex. Especially not the baby . But I was so afraid you were going to become violent and hurt me I already have ptsd from growing up like that from an ex like that and here I am in a strange place thousands of miles away with someone threatening to kill me . I didn’t want him i was just afraid of being killed I don’t remember half of what happened i was so traumatized . If it was bad I’m sorry. I didn’t leave because i didn’t want to give up or accept you now hated me when it was all I looked forward to
