• 5 months ago
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I’m not sure under what category what I’m about to say falls under, so I’m just gonna put it here. I think that I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life. As clarification I will add on that I’m only 15, I know that there is somone who’s gonna say that I’m just a kid and I have literally no idea as to what depression or pain feels like. I get it, I’m young, I haven’t experienced many things in life, but I think that I know enough to be able to see that something’s not right in my mind. I should probably get help, my school has a crisis counselor, but I know that this information will end up reaching my parents if something really is up. My dad already and always has hated me so I dont want to give him some fuel to make me feel like shit, and my mom is already stressed out way too much from dealing with the alchoholic that she married years ago. I don’t want her to feel worse just because I’m speculating that something’s wrong. I’ve hinted at wanting to tell some friends but they started saying thinds like “Only fakers wait that long to kill themselves, they only want attention.” so I’m not saying anything to them anymore. Is it really too late for me to try to kill myself? I’ve thought about it for a few years, maybe I should finally et to it? I’m sure that no one is going to read this since it’s some random teenager spitting random shit out on a confession website. This wasn’t very nice or engaging but that doesn’t matter, it won’t matter in a bit. I’ve gone on a huge guilt trip that no one cares to understand and I’ve realised that I’m curious. What would happen if i just ended it right now? ill go try that. if i make it ill probably come back here to complain about how much of a failure i am. whatever. – jazmin

All Comments

  • No no, your age doesn’t matter with this shit. If your mind has decided to throw itself in the deep end without knowing how to swim, you’ll need a lifeguard. Two years ago I had the same problem (literally the same, its shocking how much my situation matches to yours). If you think you’re depressed, and you’re considering killing yourself, you’re very much depressed.

    But, one thing I learned two years ago, when I had a rope in front of me and wondering where to do it, was that they will care. No matter how much they hate you, they will care. Everyone will care. I remember stopping myself, and grabbing a sheet of paper. Then, I marked everything that would realistically happen if I died. I put very few things and said, “Well, guess I better do it then”. But I was lying to myself, and you probably are to.
    Our minds, when depressed, don’t give a shit anymore. We forget that we matter, and everything goes to shit when that happens. Killing yourself isn’t worth it. At all. Talking to someone about it is super hard, but its necessary. Specially at the point you’re in right now. Good luck.

    Anonymous January 9, 2019 4:24 am Reply
  • Talk to your counsellor and make it clear that your family isn’t supportive and that if they reach out to your parents, you will get in trouble. An experienced and understanding counsellor would never put you in danger or at risk. Please talk to your counsellor. People who say things like “only fakers wait that long to kill themselves” are not real friends. You will meet good people further down the road, but for now you really need to get this addressed. Talk to your counsellor. Please.

    Anonymous January 9, 2019 11:42 am Reply

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