I’m scared. I feel so panicked like I’m about to die. I have a terrible pain under my jaw and my head feel numb. Sometimes I just want to go to sleep and just not wake up. Ive done some terrible things. I’m so stupid. Why did I have to do that. Did I not have a brain? A heart? I don’t know what’s going on with me. I feel almost desperate to find love to just have someone. But at the same time I don’t want a relationship. Intimacy kind of scared me. It just makes me uncomfortable. I’m so confused. I don’t know what I want. I feel stuck. I feel like even if I could be happy I don’t deserve it.its almost like it hurts to be alive.
