My ex dumped me over three years ago. The night it happened was unexpected. She was the same as ever, asked me to come over, bring some wine she said. Nothing we haven’t done before. We were together for probably an hour when she said the words no man wants to hear. “We need to talk” As those words came out of her mouth time seemed to go still for a moment, but it felt like an enternity. I felt my heart shatter and my souls begin to crumble. I broke down in tears and so did she. I was a complete mess. Before I left, she asked me if I was going to be ok. I turned to her, wiping the tears from my face and smiled and said “Yeah, I’ll be ok, don’t worry” and winked as I walked away from her. On my way home, I tried my best to regain my composure, so no one would no I was in immense pain. But I’m not really one to have a poker face. My dad saw my dejected and asked what was wrong. I told him nothing. He kept on and got angry because I was clearly lying. I dropped to my knees and poured my heart out to him for him to only mock me and tell me to stop being a p****. This broke me even further. I decended into madness. The past two years has been me fighting depression and suicidal thoughts. I’ve survived one “attempt” so far. And I’ve talked to her since then, and I’ve told her nothing of what I’ve been through over losing her. Even though I long to tell her everything. But I cannot, I love her too much to do that to her. She doesn’t deserve to carry that weight. She didn’t do anything wrong. But it burns my chest keeping this to myself. I just wish I could get over her. But I can’t. Everything I’ve seen or felt or heard made me feel like it was fate that we met. And that were only delaying the inevitable. I will continue to keep my distance and radio silence. But something tells me our paths will cross again someday.

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