I’m struggling more and more with my Depression. The suicidal ideation is growing stronger, and though I don’t necessarily want to, I’ve grown apathetic to the feeling. I almost want to go with it, just because then it would be done. But I know this isn’t me, and that it’s just a s***** blend of neurochemicals, holidays, anniversary of trauma, etc. I want to tell it to f*** off, and I want to ask for support, but I find myself struggling with those. I find myself thinking it’d be less energy to just give in. And sometimes my apathy when I’m feeling that scares me. Not in a “I feel afraid” sense, but because I know I *should* be afraid, or *should* be upset. And I’m not. I just… don’t care.
