*details changed to keep anonymity, sorry!!*
Help please im entirely in love with my best friend and its under the literal worst circumstances!!! Basically the jist is she used to live with me and my family for a few years because of her being foster care with no out (both parents dead, dad she doesnt exactly know, her mom when they were both pretty young from a sudden stroke, i am fiercly protective of her and her peace because of this, not out of pity or that s*** but genuine love and friendship) with us being the best out of limited options, now my shithead little brother (was 14 at the time, is 16 now) decided 2 years ago it would be really quirky and manly and mature to confess to the traumatized girl who was way older than him (we were both 17, now both 19)… Gross as f*** right? Exactly. Anyways this caused massive chaos and her to move back to our hometown and in with a mutual friend, we are still very in touch and are planning to have her and our mutual friends out here this year while my brother is out in another town for like a month and a half. All happy and fun right? Wrong, you forgot im hopelessly in love with her. Now answer my riddles 1, what tf do I do??? This is divine torture I swear, im cursed or some s***. Anyways any thoughts, opinions or advice helps, im desperate, gay and autistic which is not a good trio. Oh also to add a bucket of cherries on top were traumabonded and a tiny bit codependent, we went through hell together, i cant lose her over a crush i would genuinely rather cut out my tongue.