• 6 years ago
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I was a broken hearted girl from being in a relationship for 6 years with a guy who I didn’t know if he truly loves me. It got so messed up that even when we have s** I don’t feel anything at all. I faked that I liked it. One day we decided to cool things off. We can date other people if we want to. We supposed to meet before the year ends. If we still have feelings for each other.. we would still work it out.

JL is a co worker of mine in a restaurant. He was a barman/runner/waiter and I was a Line cook. He been hitting me up for awhile though we both are in relationship. I kind of shrugged off that attraction for him because I said to myself that I was not that kind of girl. And to think we both in a relationship.

I was emotionally broken.. but when JL started flirting me all over again.. it made me forget about my current emotional issue. He was so sweet, kind, caring and made me laugh too. It wasn’t too long that he was able to convince me to went out with him. We were in his car, was also anxious because I never went out with another guy other than my boyfriend let alone that I do not personally know him outside work. My anxiety made me do things I shouldn’t do like opening drawer.. asking him about stuffs in his car.. so I guess.. it killed the vibe. I also noticed.. that he was a different person from the person I flirted with in the workplace. I tried to keep my composure and hopefully recovered that excitement we had before going out together. To my surprise.. he was driving away from the mall we were in and said that he would like to take me home. He told me to call my family and tell that I sleep over in a friend’s house.. He straight up told me that he wants us to have s**. That’s the reason why he asked me out. I pleaded him to let me go out of his car and I will just go home.. he said no and still driving away… I got scared and try to talk him out.. eventually, he told me he will drop me off where I can easily get home. I was shocked and at the same time disappointed because I thought.. he genuinely likes me. I was wrong. The next day, it’s his birthday.. He told me he would like to make up for the thing that happened yesterday. He would like to join me for his birthday celebration. I just declined the invitation. He started to do and say nice things to pacify me all day just to celebrate with him. I was too shocked and disappointed to let his cute ways fooled me again. I called him out for what he did and said that even I am attracted to him he shouldn’t have took an advantage over me. He shouldn’t play with my feelings. He said.. he felt like we do not have connection so he thought maybe if we have s**.. we would have that connection he is looking for. Of course, I said cut the BS and he just want to bed me. I said I know he is used to have almost all girls he’s flirting with go in bed with even.. if he’s in relationship. And I will never be one of them.. 2nd time he was able to convinced me to went out with him, I thought it will be alright this time.. I was wrong again.. he said to me that he wants to take me to a nearby motel.. and will just dine there too. I felt so low.. and disappointed.. when I tried to let him stay he told me he needed to get to work already because he needed to do something important. He told me, if I do not want to go with him in the motel.. he has no reason to stay. So there I was.. left out again in the cold, he even kissed me goodbye.

Days became months we haven’t seen each other because he went PM and GY shift til 3AM, I was on morning shift 8AM and haven’t even heard of him. When we saw each other, he called me babe.. my heart swelled because I secretly realized that I missed the jerk. Co-line cook told me to be careful with him because she saw him with one of his colleagues, a waitress in the same restaurant we both worked. She said he sees him always flirting with me and said that do not let any feelings get in the way because she’s concerned and know that I wasn’t the kind of girl.. She even told me who’s the mystery girl.

I was on guard yet somehow the jerk found its way near me again.. he would jokingly place his face near mine and told me he would kiss me.. I dodged all of them and said I f***ing dare him to kiss me if he can without me hitting him. It went on and on for the next days.. til a month.. and all of the time I said, to stop saying he would kiss me yet he can’t even do it. I said to walk his talk because I am too tired hearing his BS a**. Most of the people would laugh hearing our conversation because they knew this guy can’t touch me. Then a week after we weren’t able to see each other because he went PM shift again, and I’m still AM shift. One time, I had to do the earliest AM shift, to my surprise.. I saw him.. of course, I pretended to not see him just do my thing.. went inside our walk in chiller and checked some stuffs.. Suddenly the door opens.. I was facing against the door. I thought a co-line cook of mine so I asked about the what other running low items and if they want me to order other stuff. No one talking and when I turned around he was standing behind me.. he tried getting near me so I pushed him away.. my heart is getting the same swelling feeling.. I knew I missed him but tried my best to not show it.. he kept on following me and I just do my thing.. he hugged me from behind.. and he tries doing and saying sweet things.. I can feel a funny sensation all over my body.. when I just couldn’t take it.. I went on and bit his shoulder hard because he’s just too persistent, it got on my nerves at the same time I’m feeling giddy and warm inside. He found it funny and yet painful so he went home. I think my teeth left a mark on his shoulder.

That moment was the start of everything.. he would try to corner me in a place where nobody could see us.. he would try to kiss me or if not just hug me. It was the better person in me that tried to stop me from falling to his trap. When I couldn’t take it any longer.. I took his lips.. kissed him and bit him. That kiss marked our forbidden “relationship”. When I got transferred to GY shift it’s also the same schedule he mostly had. He always appear when I am alone in an area and he would kiss me at the back of my neck if I do not want him to kiss my lips.. as I was scared of being caught. He would also hug me after each kiss. It felt like this guy had his clock ready to know when and where to go find me for a kiss. And we would do it many times as much as time permits. And we both would act casually like nothing is happening between us. At work when people would see us.. he would flirt and do sweet things for me like making me a drink or just give me water. He knows when I needed comfort. Most of the time when I am feeling tired he would pop up behind me and ask if I’m ok.. then he would give me a hug. There’s a time that he got my hand an injury because he was trying to get something from me.. it was a little bit painful that I couldn’t help but teared up. He was the one who cleaned and dressed the wound and profusely apologized and hugged me more than a number of times. I guess he felt guilty. There’s also one time when a guy friend of mine – his colleague, a waiter.. (who is actually my first crush ever when I started working) tried making a drink for me because he said he wanted to learn their bar so he’s training and would love to give his sample to me and my friend. Of course, we gladly obliged. He saw that this guy friend of mine handing it over to me and I drunk it.. we said our feedback to our friend.. while doing it I noticed he is staring at me like he was really upset. I just shrugged it off. Then went on to do my tasks. When I went to check our stocks at the back.. he suddenly appeared and told me… why I told him I do not want anything and yet I asked D (the waiter friend) for a drink. That D didn’t even made me a good one. He was fussing over it like a child. He said that he could give me a better one which I declined but he insisted he wanted to make something for me. I still declined and just went on to do my stuff.. I pushed him away told him to go back to work but kind of a little bit hurt after I saw that he’s really upset. So when I went back to the kitchen.. he was on the pass.. and I run the cold kitchen along with my commis 1.. he started acting odd and wouldn’t even look at me..I saw him even pissed off when he talked to our sous chef.. he had a small fight with him. I said to him he shouldn’t be like that.. he shouldn’t talk rudely to him.. he said he doesn’t care.. that my SC was the first one to do it. That was the first time I saw him really upset all day. So the stupid me.. tried to find a way where I could talk to him.. when I got the chance.. I hugged him and told him to not be upset because I missed laughing and talking to him. He said it was my fault because of the drink that D made me. Because I do not want his. (All of my co-line cooks had drinks made by him all the time and he had given them all that time).. I’m the only one not having it. So I said.. that it would be fine if he wants to make something for me.. He smiled and hugged me even tighter and asked for a kiss.. the stupid me gave him a peck and suddenly, he is like a kid again.. smiling and then told me.. He had to go back to make my drink. It went on.. and felt like we have this thing going on but we don’t want any label. I know it was stupid of me because I knew he had a real girl.. and another one.. then me.. I do not know what number I was.. but when we are both around each other and with our colleagues he made sure that they will know that “I am his”. He would act like he is jealous when someone is trying to hit on me. And I would believe that he is actually jealous. He would help me out.. he make sure to kiss, hug and say goodbye to me before he goes home all the time. when we fought.. he will try hard to pacify me.. and when I just wouldn’t do.. he would act like he’s also upset because I do not want to clear things with him. Still he will said his goodbye to me. He went home looking like really upset. We were like a couple.. We both know it wasn’t real.. but at the same time we love doing it to each other. We don’t need extend to our phone what we are doing.. seemed like out sight, out of mind kind of “relationship”. I couldn’t get myself to talk to him on the phone for fear of being caught and I also do not want him to really feel that the things we do started to make me like him actually. He became a reason for me to go to work. He became my happy pill. I became obsessed even to his scent to the point that I knew if he is wearing another one. My heart swells a little bit more everytime I see him. It was so wrong yet it felt so good. The thought of us kissing each other passionately without being caught was a real thrill for us. Especially we both know how to act like nothing happened. We are just so good pulling off the fire we are having if ever somebody walks in. I think it excites him as well. Because.. I am the shy, all virgin yet nobody messes with type of girl and when it’s just the two of us.. I ran out of breath running my fingers in his head and neck while we are kissing passionately.. The day came when I handed my resignation.. I had one month to make the most out of the moment with my colleagues and friends.. I decided to stay away from him. We fought a lot at work.. He would get on my nerves.. and I would cry myself on the ladies room. I go to the ladies room to make sure he would not follow me. And I always asked a good friend/colleague of mine to go with me at back storage or chiller to help me get stuff so that he will not be able to go near me. Even so.. he would appear most of the time and pretend to get some stuff. But sometimes.. when I’m alone at the back storage, when I would hope he will appear.. I would get disappointed because he didn’t. Then down to my last 2 weeks.. I started going in at the back storage alone again.. then he appeared at last.. He said why I was avoiding him, what did he do.. I just told him.. he was hard to love. And stop playing each other.. he would ask who’s playing who? And I told him to not be dumb. That to take his BS a** somewhere coz I am not having none of it. He would hug me and I will pushed him away. And begged him to stop. The next day.. he appeared again.. I did the same thing.. The following day, there he was.. again.. I just couldn’t any longer.. so I bursted.. while holding my tears back.. I said.. why does he keep doing these nice things to me? Why does he act like he like me when we both know it’s not real? Why does he keep on following me? Why we fought even if there’s nothing to fight about? Why can’t he be faithful to his girl? Why does he keep on messing with me? And why does he keep on persisting when I am clearly staying away from him? He just hugged me and apologized.. He said he’s feeling things as well. That what he is doing for me are all real. He knows it’s wrong.. I said to him that we should stop because I am starting to have the real feels and I do not want any lingering feelings for him because we both know, when I long for him.. he won’t be able to be near me to take that away. And the thought of it kills me a little bit more inside. I said when I miss all these things.. including him.. would he be willing to do anything about it? I added we both know he won’t because he is in her arms or someone else’s when I am gone. He said.. why am I thinking that I am the only one who fears lingering feelings? He feels the same way yet he doesn’t want to be lonely because he just want to make the best out of the remaining moments. He said that we should go out for 3rd time and settle the things in bed. He said he feels like I want it too and yet I am fighting it all. Of course when he mentioned the bed/s** I got a little upset. Then he added kidding aside.. that we should try to be good to each other.. he would surely miss me a lot as well.. so the stupid me.. obliged.. and the following days.. kisses and touches intensified. I seemed to ran out of breath a little bit more and my hands went to different places like his shoulders, back.. when my hands are on his hair.. I do not caress them anymore.. I grabbed them hard and my hand on his neck hold it a little bit more tight. Down on my last 2 days.. he did all nice things for me.. he told me that he will not be around on my last day because he’s off. When it’s time for me to go home.. he suddenly followed me, he told me.. he sneaked out because want to e***** me even just up to the lift.. we were walking alone.. everything was silent.. we entered to the area where there are no CCTVs.. just a door away from the lift.. then he stopped me from walking, pulled me towards him and gives the wettest, deepest and with a lot of tongue kiss to me. It was intense yet he caresses my face and neck at the same time.. and when I just couldn’t hold back.. I bit him and returned the wild kiss.. it was also my hands started getting wild, I played with his hair.. neck.. back.. shoulders and I started leaning toward him more so that I can feel him. I started whispering his name.. I curled my leg just in time he’s having a b****.. he whispered “babe” (because that’s our term for each other). I went on to feel that hard in front of him.. he was shocked for a bit.. yet we continued to kiss.. he pulls my hair and I playfully touched his b***, he couldn’t help but touch my breast. And I hold his hand while he caresses my breast. We both feel that we would end up tearing each other’s clothes.. surprisingly.. we both knew also that it’s time to stop or else we would get caught.. it took the whole sane soul of me to not tell him that I love him. I was too consumed.. so high.. At the end, I just bit his lip for the last time and hugged him tightly still he is having a b**** which made us laugh a bit.. he said I will miss you so much babe. I hold back the tears and just told him to not go with me on the lift because it’s just near and they might be looking for him already. He gave me one last hug and kiss then he said.. til we meet again.. he said he doesn’t want any goodbyes because we will see each other again. He promised me. I think we both ended sleeping that day having each other on our head. He texted me the next year, 2nd or 3rd week of the month saying that he missed me and said that he dreamed of us wherein we went on having s** as the continuation of our dirty deed in our workplace. Of course, He still persisted to have s** in reality. Then he was gone.. after 2 weeks texted me again to go with him on a resort because he wanted to unwind, lot of stuff been happening at work.. He missed me.. keep on saying as well that he is having constant dream of us having s** and he wants to experience the real deal. I declined.. while he keep on saying why am I saying no to it when he also feel like I wanted it too.. he told me that I shouldn’t lie to him.. he knows he is not the only one feeling it..

The s** never became a reality..

I think right now he is or about to get married. And that aside from my boyfriend.. he is the other person to almost uncovered that freak and k**** side of me.

That’s my wild experience folks.. do not underestimate some people just because they look timid.. prude or all virgin.. You never know what they can do.

All Comments

  • SHUT UP!!!!

    Anonymous September 11, 2018 3:49 am Reply

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