I had an affair with a married man, while I was still married. It lasted almost 25 years. My then husband and I eventually divorced, but it wasn’t over my lover, he left me for another woman! How ironic! My lover didn’t divorce his wife of many years, they had 5 kids and I had 4. He wanted to stay for the “family”. My respect for that increased my love for him, I agreed that we didn’t want to cause damage to our total of 9 children. He developed Alzheimers as he aged and ended up in a facility near my home. I visited him even though he ultimately didn’t know me.. but I knew him and even there , his kindness to others on his good days shown through. A couple of years later, I went to his funeral as a “friend of the family”.