i’ve been in a relationship for almost 2 1/2 years, and sometimes i think i will never truly, truly be in love with anyone but the girl who broke my heart over and over, who never really loved me, but whose face shows up in my dreams all the time. i left her in a figurative cloud of dust, and it’s the best choice i ever made, but the addiction is like heroin. one image, one memory sets me off, and i think i may never feel like i felt with her. and i feel so guilty and terrible even though i love my current partner so much. it’s just different. and it kills me.