• 1 week ago


Honestly, I probably do, if I did, but in all honesty, in most cases, I don’t think it was that big of a deal.

I can honesty on think of twice where it mattered and I don know why and I understand what it was and what it did to you and to me.

I know a time where I was a repulsive disgusting jerk, a psycho, a loser with words and I am sorry for it, and I don’t like that I did it. I regret what it made me out to be a d I regret being that way to someone BUT and it doesn’t justify it, I still wish I had been cooler, and quieter, and more passive about my feelings, but in the end, I ended up more hurt with no one and she got the chance to really hit me, which she did. And had plenty of people to fall back on. Not a justification, I regret, but I had it worse. It was just an ugly situation and not the type of dysfunction I want to be a part of.

The other time, yeah. I know. Believe me I know, but it was never intentional, I am going to hurt you. It wasn’t malicious. Maybe at one time it slightly was, Indie things with the intention of hurting to basically smack her into (not physically) if not admitting it to me, then to herself. I tried to hurt her but was hurt myself and without much choice. Right. Guilty but always had it in my head that maybe someday. Always. And when someday came was the first time I wasn’t thinking about it. I chose to do one thing rather than the other, I took it into my hands Me didn’t give her a choice, called it and walked away with nothing. For reasons. My choice. I didn’t that. Even though she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen at the time. For reasons. And I went home at blown away that it even happened at all. I made the. Voice even though Insane that there was something and I felt something, for what I thought was the right reasons at the time, and honestly don’t know if it was now at this point. I really don’t. I thought it was, but on the other hand… Also thinking lately that I don’t know how hard she took it. I mean obviously, I didn’t think much of myself at the time, I didn’t, so I assumed no big deal… She will survive. She has a lineup of guys at all times. I on the other hand, should probably get a grip.