For what it’s worth though, if I was more proactive that night and initiated some contact DESPITE not liking or feeling confident in where I was to not mess it up because you and it were important to me even if I broke your heart, my own insecurities, which were justified, I still believe that, and it was my fault I was not in a good place at that time, of I had initiated something and then worked on getting where I needed to be, who knows… life could have been better for me with less bullshit. No doubt we both had strong feeling for each other. Maybe you could have been my drive and inspiration to be better.
Mind you… a few years later, moving towards being a better person, trying, I fell right into what busted me up pretty badly. Hard to say what could’ve, would’ve, should’ve but at that time maybe for always, that night, you were certainly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.