There no one TO run away, I walked away from people years ago because I find that in most cases they’re actually more trouble than anything. I am very aware that Im in this alone. I’m strong though. Stronger than most
Ive gone at least a decade or more without relying on anyone ever even one single time for anything. Very aware.
I will not bullshit though, if I know something is beyond me, thats way too big of a mountain for me, like say a high maintenance women were nothing is really sacred, I know when I’m in over my head and its just not meant to be. Incompatible. Some guys might lie about shit or fake it, read a how too book about it to get it, I dont care. If something dont work, yeah Im trying to chase you away. I cant do it. Those are just facts. You know when I give if Im just saying how it is, for real. You dont want me. I really am worthless to her. Tomorrow could be different maybe Ill get struck by lightning, but then knowing if I did knowing how different we are as people, if you didnt want me before lightning, I probably wouldn’t want you after. I mean, in some cases, I feel maybe I deserve to be number 1 in her beart, jesus christ I fucking earned it, I fucking desereve it, number 1 but unfortunately thats not really true and thats not wrong… but it hurts to feel like its obviously not something thats sacred to her. Special. That hurts, but shes not wrong and thats a tough pill to swallow, but its do-able to take it in. Thats the way it goes, but I gotta be honest, I feel the same now as my mid 20’s. I cant do it. Might as well nip that one right in the bud. Whats the point of pretending? Its not like people don’t know right? I have some pretty capable legal stakers with grudges and an unhealthy obsession who I dont exactly get along with. I am also very used to having exactly zero privacy in my life. Just being honest. Dont really care too much what anyone does or thinks its not like it matters. Doesnt effect me any.
Think you can keep it good with what you have? Is it real? Do you care? I would.