I cheated on my girlfriend. i know i’m a horrible horrible person for it, i’ve been cheated on and it’s the worst feeling in the world. i went back to my ex. i met him when i was only 13. he was 39. i didn’t seem to realise how wrong it was back then but i know now. i was with him for 3 years, lying to everyone about his age and who he was. never let anyone see a picture of him or nothing. he made me stop talking to my friends if they were guys. i wasn’t allowed to text other people if i was talking to him even if we were just texting each other. he had access to all my social media accounts, passwords and everything. i tried to block him once on insta but he still kept showing back up, using his f****** kids account to follow me and check up on me. telling me to unfollow the guys on my account. he said i have to call him either daddy, sir or master. i have scars on my breast from where he forced me to cut myself because i was rude to him. i have cigarette burns on my thigh because he didn’t give me permission to smoke. i have scars on my hips from where i had to cut myself repeatedly because he liked the blood. he would take pictures of me and send them to friends and strangers. he sent me pictures and videos of him cheating on me. a video of him eating a girl out for a minute. pictures of her that she had sent to him. he would call me a w**** and a s***, saying how i was worthless without him and piece of garbage. i was only here on this earth to please him and whoever else he wants me to f***. i feel so ridiculous typing all this because i never even met him once in real life. it was all an online relationship but he still had so much control over me. it’s been 3 and a half years since i met him. i’m 16. he got sick of me after a while. i wasn’t behaving like i used to, i was busy trying to study for exams and live a normal life. he got busier at work and we just. stopped talking about numerous arguments. he would still text me daily but i’d only respond in one word. until today when he told me to show him my breasts. i said i wouldn’t and i dont know how but i ended up. doing it. he was going on about how he owns me, i’m nothing without him and i’m a w****. i was crying and told him we shouldn’t be doing this, i’m in a happy relationship with someone new and i really liked her. he told me to shut up and i’m his property. this happened an hour ago and i can’t stop crying. i’ve cut myself all over my thighs because i feel like i deserve the pain and the scars. i feel like i’m a horrible person for doing this to her. this is the first time anyone will ever know the truth about my relationship with him. most people didn’t even know i was in a relationship and i really wish i never was.
